Wow! This was a tough week! There was so much to take in during Fr. Pierre’s homily. This was not a one-and-done kind of week. Sunday’s homily (Week 2) and Wednesday night’s discussion, need more than a quick glance. I think this week was a key week because it is hard to grasp being a missionary disciple if I don’t have a good understanding of what I am called to do. Here’s what I had to do this week to absorb all that was said at Mass and on Wednesday night: I read the Decree on the Apostolate of the Laity, not once, but four times! I didn’t read it four times because I felt ignorant, although I am, I read it four times so that it would penetrate my heart. I wanted to read it like a letter to me, and not like a textbook. The last time I read it, I put my name in the place of “the laity” or “the faithful” and that changed everything. What a responsibility I have–what a responsibility we all have! Every day in prayer something different would speak to me. The main thing that I found relevant to my daily life was:
“Neither family concerns nor the other secular affairs should be irrelevant to their spiritual life, in keeping with the words of the Apostle, “whatever you do in word or work, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, giving thanks to God the Father through Him” (Col. 3:17). Such a life requires a continual exercise of faith, hope and charity. Only by the light of faith & by meditation of the word of God can one always and everywhere recognize God in Whom “we live, & move, and have our being” (Act17:28), seek His will in every event, see Christ in everyone whether he be a relative or a stranger, & make correct judgements about the true meaning & value of temporal things both in themselves and in their relation to man’s final goal.” Decree on the Apostolate of the Laity, 4.
My heart needs to be open to God’s will. I need to pray about my role as a missionary disciple. If I don’t take the time to pray about it, I am pretty sure that it is not going to happen. Prayer changes everything, and it mostly changes me. I need to understand the right order of material possessions and pleasures in my life. I long for God to permeate every area of my life, including my work, my leisure and my family life.
From my prayer journal:
Thank you for the gift of this past week.
Help me move forward this week understanding what it really means to have faith. Help me to put myself at your disposal so that everything I do, I do for your glory. I want to be a missionary disciple, but that means that I can not live in fear. Give me the courage to hand my life over to you, to trust your will for my life, to accept your love and mercy no matter how unworthy I feel. When I close my heart to you, I don’t find freedom–I find pain and more disappointment. Jesus, I trust in your love. I trust you will guide me. I trust you will show me the task that you have chosen specifically for me. I want to advance the kingdom of God, even here on earth, in my daily life. I pray for opportunities to do this. Even now, I ask for you to open my eyes to opportunities.
Thank you for the personal gift of your Son who died for my sins. Thank you for the opportunity to participate in the sacrifice of the Mass with my family. Thank you for the families and marriages that make up this parish that are longing to know you. I don’t ever want Mass to be an empty ritual. Forgive me for the times that I am distracted at Mass and I forget that you are present. I pray for abundant graces for all those who are struggling with their faith, family or their marriage. May the Holy Spirit enter the hearts and minds of my brothers and sisters in Christ and me so that we may surrender ever more fully to you. I want this, I really do, but I need your strength and courage. We need to be healed as a church and as a nation. I need to be healed. Jesus, I trust in you.